Forest Animals 1 - Moad the Toad 0

The Fat Smoking Hamster is back again. This time, its about the case of another bully... Moad the Toad...

As you readers know, Fat Smoking Hamster hangs around the evergreen Arts forest with his friends... the Sunshine Gang, Inclusive of Joey the baby roo, The Nepalese Yak, Rabbit Chongs, Feisty Cat and Hongster the monster. Please note, not all monsters are evil.

The Arts forest consist of many different different groups of animals. Some study the history of the forest, others try to deconstruct the social policies, a large number try to understand the social norms and some, like Fat Smoking Hamster and the Sunshine Gang, study soil, rocks and water bodies within the forest.

However there is this group of weird animals that study the dark arts, meanings of life and try to screw the minds of others. This group of animals belong to the realm of the nothing and pointless... the group of animals are headed by 'the old, mad and the single' Monkey Matriarch, and consist of members such as Moad the Toad and Hobbo Balbo.

So the context is set, time for the Story.

One normal looking monday, Fat Smoking Hamster and the Sunshine Gang were irritated by the weird animals... Basically Moad the Toad needed a seat in the 'doggy dish on stilts' (a place where animals eat) but without consent he just stole two seats from the Sunshine Gang's table. Well Feisty Cat tried to turn down Moad the Toad... but that retard just took the seats without apologising... the incident eventually escalated till there was an exchange of harsh words that were uncalled for... mostly from the side of the weird animals (it has to be highlighted that what the weird animals teach are often confusing... so much so normal animal won't understand their words or what they are saying...)

Well... the Sunshine Gang decided to report the incident to the leader of the weird animals, 'the old, mad and the single' monkey matriarch via nutmail (a form of communication software, just like your emails). But obviously the Monkey matriarch would protect her minions... with some disappointing answer that followed a weird logic... She even advise the Sunshine Gang to drop their case...

Feeling lost, the Sunshine Gang decided to seek the word of the holy mother of all animals, the vice-chieftain of the animals, Pauline Stag Horn Motherly... To Fat Smoking Hamster's amaze, Pauline the Stag Horn Motherly actually defended the Sunshine Gang and even praised them for their courage to stand up for their rights. She promised she will settle the score for them and report the incident about the weird animals to the royal eminence of the forest, the wise, old, cheery Lion. WooHoos!

Lesson of the day?
If you seriously believe you have been wronged, stand up for your rights and fight back.
Because if you don't do it for yourself who will?
And even if you don't get favourable replies... always keep trying.

The Warped Guitar

Hey did you all know Fat Smoking Hamster loves music? Yes he does. Most of the time his life is pretty much plugged into music. Either through 'John Mayer' his amazing ipod, the voice of 'violet' or the wonderful radio stations on animal tunes. And yes, he loves the music produced by the guitar a lot, Such as the riffs, strumming and bass beats.

Fat Smoking Hamster has a guitar as well... or used to own one that produces sweet musical tunes. That was a beautiful guitar. As much as he tried in the past, he never was good at producing the tunes or understanding the guitar. After much frustration ... he slowly lostly interest in learning the guitar... he didn't practice or didn't maintain his beautiful guitar. But deep in his heart he loved his guitar a lot and even though he produced unearthly music most of the time, Fat Smoking Hamster felt that songs the guitar could produced was the best and special in many ways. haha.

During this period that he neglected his guitar, Fat Smoking Hamster spend his time with his animal friends and his daily everyday life, especially working at the cafe in animalville. But as much as he misunderstood guitar playing, he also didn't realize that within each instrument lies a sort of 'soul', one which is imaginary but true. This soul of the guitar is cultivated from moons of practice with the instrument; also known as 'seasoning'. And if you neglected this 'soul' the instrument will be 'warped' and unable to produce sweet tunes anymore. Sadly and unknowingly, Fat Smoking Hamster's guitar has slowly 'warped' and is unable to produce sweet tunes anymore.

Recently, as he was tired and looking for some form of leisure ... Fat Smoking Hamster suddenly rediscovered his love for his guitar. He rushed back to his cave and tried to play his guitar. But, he slowly discovered that the warped guitar could not produce tunes anymore. Fat Smoking Hamster was utterly sadden. He felt lost... his beloved guitar which he neglected has been warped and seemingly can never be repaired. For many moons, Fat Smoking Hamster laid hopelessly in his cave looking at his guitar... but there was nothing he can do but be heartbroken. Occasionally he teared...

Slowly, as much has he hated himself, Fat Smoking Hamster begun to slowly accept that the guitar can never be repaired. He also learned that the sweet tunes once produced by his beloved guitar can never be replaced. Buying a new guitar is never going to erased the sweet memories he had with his guitar and his guitar is the only instrument he adores. Fat Smoking Hamster is sadden once more... he knows that his friends are still trying to help him get over it or trying to repair the guitar by finding the mystical guitar repairman who appears only by tough chance.

He appreciates all around him but he feels that they should focus more into finding a way they can help in find happiness in some other way... thank you all the other little animals who have accompanied him. But the guitar can never be repaired unless there is a miracle the guitar is willing to repair itself by 'counter warping' back. But this happens only if the environment is favorable and the guitar wood is willing. For now Fat Smoking Hamster drowns himself in sorrow. He is lost and regrets neglecting his guitar. He hopes he can turn back time to save his beloved guitar. But this is impossible. Now days, musical tunes don't sound appealing anymore. Fat Smoking Hamster misses the good old days...

Some of the most beautiful things in life
are those you cannot obtain

Animals munch out at Thomas Edison!

The beach goddess, whinny pussy is leaving the Eropagnis forest... she will be away for 4 months to shop for nuts, precious stones and wool in the fashion market place of Gonk Gnoh (sounds like a dumbo aka gong gong)... So Fat, smoking Hamster and some other animals decided to go for supper with her before she leaves... not that they really will miss her but They were actually hungry as well... haha ...

The Munch out party was at Thomos Edison ... well as usual, being hip animals with no sense of time... most of the animals were late... but whinny pussy was ultimately late. She even made Fat, smoking Hamster offer her a ride in his cute, cool purple toy car, Violet.

As we all expected, no one has a feast with out any conversation (who in the right mind goes to a munch out just to eat and stare at each other?). Well not all the conversation was spent only talking about global climate change in the forest, current updates to acornball 'Lion with a crown' league or rising water levels around Eropagnis ... there were also lessons to be learnt, daily matters of gathering nuts and *poo* reflecting ... I tell you... the place was damm smelly.

Well obviously one lesson we must learn was mentioned by the wise old owl ... He was describing how we cannot think too highly of the nuts or furs that we have... recalling one of his
wiser older owl like teachers in primary school, wise old owl advise the animals:

'When an animal thinks it is the smartest animal in the world, that animal is the stupidest animal in the world'

Fat, smoking Hamster heard that statement and applauded wise old owl. The other animals also agreed at the topic at hand.

Actually the Munch Out was not all wise and teaching day... it was also a day to give in to the emo monster. well... this mystical monster resides in every animal... it is a matter of how big this emo monster is able to develop in everyone... For example: the Emo monster in welfare beaver is a huge and scary one while the emo monsters in Alligator 1 and Alligator 2 are very small, skinny and ugly (well Alligators don't shed tears, isn't it obvious hur?)

It could be seen that on this gathering of the animals... the long ear, not a horse or a pig, rabbit (who was a minister at the Pub) was suffering due to official matters and the slow spread of dark matter and rotting smell within the Pub... long ear, not a horse or a pig, rabbit was so affected he could not finish his nuts... and the usually very noisy minister was relatively quiet during the Munch Out...

The Munch out ended with a chill out session at the bridge were 'saltwater meets freshwater' ... one of those place were Fat, smoking Hamster recalled to be very familiar... it seem to be one of those places he used to frequent other animals including his love. Well that particular bridge seem to allow the animals to further reflect themselves in the water... the conversations became more light hearted as well.

On the way home, Alligator 1, Whinny Pussy and Fat, smoking Hamster had a emo song singfest... and boy no matter how terrible the singing was... the emo monster was able to engulf even the happiest of hearts... but eventually... Whinny Pussy's whinnying helped Fat, smoking Hamster to stay focus on his way home. Fat, smoking Hamster appreciated Whinny Pussy's help and he will miss the whinnying when Whinny Pussy moves out of the neighbourhood for the next 4 months. Sobs. Finally, after a eventful outing Fat, smoking Hamster was so tired, he slept on his cozy straw bed ... all through the night...

Falling

Fat, smoking Hamster is sad... Fat, smoking Hamster doesn't know how to tell anyone what is wrong ... cos Fat, smoking Hamster doesn't know what is wrong ... wait maybe he knows... but he doesn't know how to deal with it.

Fat, smoking Hamster knows that since he lost his love one... he feels that he has plunged into a deep hole... sadly he has been falling deeper into this hole... and many times he has irritated his love one and therefore dug himself deeper into this hole.

Someone please save Fat, smoking Hamster ... he wants to be happy again... to be able to see the sunlight from above...

'Mei you le' but got Mayonnaise

'Mei you le' is a private joke that has been going around ... basically poking fun at 'Tua Dao' (big head... one of Fat, smoking Hamster's friends) Fat, smoking Hamster think its time we try to joke about it less... and actually review it ... cause it really brings along a lot of other meanings ...

It is really no more... or is it? Sometimes Fat, smoking Hamster doesn't know how to react to it... Fat, smoking Hamster wishes it goes on but at times Fat, smoking Hamster wanna wash his hands off Pub matters... Fat, smoking Hamster think its time for the New animals to shine but sometimes Fat, smoking Hamster feel there is a lot more Fat, smoking Hamster can offer... Hiya messy lar

Anyways ... Fat, smoking Hamster thinks whenever Fat, smoking Hamster speaks of 'Mei you le' joke... Fat, smoking Hamster will remember all the tears that have been shed... yes, we are all emo inside... we all cry. even those who don't cry, Fat, smoking Hamster is sure inside you... you cried. Cause the feeling of leaving is never easy.

Thanks to Tua Dao's joke... Fat, smoking Hamster manage to recall these moments in a more cheerful way. Thanks to all the other animals friends who have drunk with Fat, smoking Hamster in the Pub before... it was lovely moments.

Fat, smoking hamster and the Highway Hooligan

As you all know, Fat, smoking Hamster went on a food hunt recently with his group of cockles during the amazing orientation weekend. Yar he got his purple toy car bang by the Highway Hooligan, Eddie the Malay Zoo Keeper.

Now Eddie the Zoo Keeper was a notorious Highway Hooligan. Not only did he refuse to apologize for banging the front bumper of Fat, smoking Hamster's purple ride, he even accused Fat, smoking Hamster of trying to cheat his Nuts ... He claim that Fat, smoking Hamster had got his bumper bang a few days earlier by some other hooligan and refuse to pay Fat, smoking Hamster his nuts. well Fat, smoking Hamster was obviously furious cause he had his purple toy car checked by his toy master a few days ago... he tried to argue back but no matter how much reasoning he gave Eddie... the idiot refuse to listen... maybe he can only understand Malay...

Well, Fat, smoking Hamster went to the toy master yesterday... and he realized that to repair his beloved purple toy car would cause 180 nuts... damm that Eddie...

So he sms Eddie for payment... but Eddie once again tried to play punk and replied:
"i rest my case"

this time Fat, smoking Hamster dulan.... he decided to complain Eddie the Zoo Keeper to the Head Zoo Keeper of Premafast. But Fat, smoking Hamster knows that Eddie will probably get away without paying 180 nuts... but Fat, smoking Hamster hopes Eddie might break a leg or lose a bud cheek along the way ... He deserves to be punish for being a Highway Hooligan... even though Eddie sarcastically sms Fat, smoking Hamster a sorry in the middle of the night.

Well the return of Fat, smoking Hamster was inspired by Chongs... but the rest of this post is serious. Next time if you meet up with a similar incident (someone bang you or you accidentally bang someone) follow this few steps

1. Ensure no one is hurt
2. Immediately take a picture with your camera/ camera phone
3. TRY negotiate NICELY with the other party
(you might end up with 2 possible scenarios (a) or (b) )

4a If the asshole wants to settle out of court/law immediately ask for his/her particulars and make him sign a IOU if possible ( I would not advise this... cause there are a lot of faceless sh*ts like Eddie out there)

4b If the other party ends my to be difficult to deal with ... immediately ask for his/her particulars ... try to copy the vehicle plate number or remember the other parties company if he/she is wearing a uniform or happens to drive a company vehicle... MOST IMPORTANTLY make an immediate police report with 24 hours and call up your insurance company...

5 Say byebye to that person

Yes these advise are written in pain so please take precaution about such incidents and drive safely.

PSI 3.0: An evolution story gone wrong...

Long time ago... in a not so far away land of eropagniS ... in a scholarly place named SUN, there was a Pub called Club ARTS ... were a Fat, smoking Hamster hanged out in... as time went by... this Fat, smoking Hamster met many other animals... and became friends with them...

One day in the summer of 2006, on invitation and direction of his friends, he was asked to be in charged of a activity for the up and coming 'gathering of the newbies' camp.... but the problem was he had to wrack his old brains to come up with a new activity that would make his newbies happy at the camp... But after many difficulties and assistance from the Lovely MOO and Baddie Fugly ... he came up with a totally new game which most of the newbies and animals in Club ARTS liked!

well the animals partied and they continue to be happy for a year... then suddenly Fat, smoking Hamster realized his activity was put down by another group of new animals in Club ARTS ... called the 'they think they are very good' animals... now these group of people are not evil or wicked they are just a bit high and over confident (or least they showed it that way) ... and he started to smell a very strong stench of decay coming from somewhere within the Pub...

He wondered why... was his original creation treated with so little respect... after all it was his brainchild and it always made others happy... then he realized... as much as he loved his newbies a lot... he cannot directly confront their decisions ... He felt unwanted due to the actions of 'they think they are very good' animals... he was old and had no power anymore... maybe he drank too much and smoked too much as well.. haha

But he realize he was not alone... recently a lot of his friends in Club ARTS have been very unhappy with the new animals... Just that the new animals would not listen or consult these oldie animals... or the feared/ dread the scolding from the oldie animals...

Fat, smoking hamster wanted to tell his newbies... no matter how difficult it is... there must be respect for seniors and individual's efforts... He also knows that by over criticizing the new animals... it would not benefit them. He just wish that the new animals know that progress for the Pub is very important and they should not do it on their own... they need the help of other animals... not only the young but the experience... o yar Fat, smoking hamster also wishes the decaying smell in the Pub is discovered and gotten rid off...

'The Young should listen to the Old and the Wise
The Old should learn from the Young and the Creative
But both should learn to respect one another and Communicate'