Learning how to cherish the weekend again.

The week has been a tough one.

Poised with an uncertain job scope, with new expectations, a new surrounding and a task without common faces, it wasn't easy for someone so used to being a student. Worst of all, I had to learn how to blardee wake up at 6 and sleep at 12. That isn't easy because of my 'curse'.

Every morning I had to force myself out of bed at 6 ... wait that isn't difficult for someone who had been awake for 2 hours... Everyday I would wake up from my sleep between 4am to 430am... and I will be in this 'semi-woken' state until my alarm rung... then I had to make my way to work. Along the way I would stop at some 'roadside' within the housing estate for a morning breather. Then I would drive in, sign in, look at my schedule, observe classes, wait for the last bell. Then I would sign out, drive to the same 'roadside' for my second breather of the day. What happens next in the day would be the only social life that I have during the week. But it would be constricted to the 'curfew' of 12am or the latest 1 am...

So everyday I had to restrict myself to some 'structure' I am not used to. And I am glad I am here blogging over the weekend. But honestly, I feel a bit fucked up inside. I know what is wrong but there is nothing I can do. I don't know why I let myself think about it. Even though I told myself to adopt a strategy of 'non-interference' and I know there is a 'clause' to the problem, I will still be bothered with it. I think I am just blardee lost. I think the truth is, I cannot accept the fact until I know the truth. Argh.

But once again, my friends have came to the rescue following the new regime. I think you guys really make it much easier. Sometimes you all ask me why I love you all so much, why I would go all the way to look for you guys, why I go all out to help... Have you asked yourself how lonely it is without you guys? I cannot imagine. I dare not imagine.

So here I am, feeling all stuffed with different questions. Totally 'Emoed' and lost. When I am supposed to enjoy the weekend. Maybe all I need is to get out. Argh.

Maybe I just have to believe that life is simple. I told someone I believe life is simple. She doubted it. Now I think about it... I always believed life is simple... But what happens when a problem appearing simple yet is, complex in nature, comes your way? Yar that is what is bothering me. But I guess I will be simple and I will see the problem as something simple. Maybe I will live easier following that... but wouldn't that mean I am possibly trying to cheat myself? haha. Damm. TIme to go out.