Normal

Thanks for all your simple messages.

I am really happy to receive all the messages of concern recently. But I am ok ... its quite normal to be sad right?

I am not really sad by the way. Its just that life is really life that. We are so busy with the same old stuff day in and day out... We lose track of time and all the things that are really important. And when you look back... its a sad feeling. But everyone gets that right?

It isn't the end of the world because it is normal. The truth is... I feel... even when we work hard enough... We just don't get our dreams or have our way. That is the truth.

I have always dreamt of teaching in a poorer country... where the temperature is chilly but it is sunny as well... Like early autumn in a temperate country. I often envision 'myself' to be pretty well like by the students there... and every time I end the class... I will hear the students' laughter all around me... and no one talks about the pressurizing grades. Yet everyone talks about what they have learnt for that day and how they can improve the environment.

That is my dream... I can 'see' it clearly when I offer myself sometime to 'wander'. But it just does not happen... even if I want it to. There are just too many complications for this dream to come true.

I think for now... I have come to terms with it... Life is not about me or my dreams. Now matter how hard I try... somethings cannot be changed. But while I continue to believe this way... I have seen another goal... that life is always about others... and I have found joy in that.

Yar, that is the way life is for me. I can complain and sound super 'emo' but I guess sometimes what my expressions in this blog spell is ... 'Normal'.

"Sometimes you find your destiny on the road you took to avoid it."
Wilhelm Wexler in 'The International' (2009)