A tomato can waiting to explode.

So much is happening nowadays... I think my mind and body can't really take it...

Insomnia is back... because I do not get the fatigue in the day to set me sleeping at night...

Once again there are many expectations to live up to... and I can only choose to entertain some. Its not like your demanded by everyone... But I feel there is a need to agree/settle somethings about many things.

It does not really feel good inside as well. Something happen recently and set me thinking again. As Liling will probably know I am utterly confused when it comes to death. I really hate that word ... yet sometimes I wish the end was near. I really think pain last much longer then happiness. And a preoccupied and confused life does not really help much.

Actually when I finally got to 'spend' sometime with an old friend yesterday... I wished I could have been a bit more concerned with people around me. I think guilt is consuming me slowly...

But am I really that heartless?

Maybe I just need to be a bit more organized. Ok, its time to stop questioning myself. And do something for people who matter.

O thanks Cheri ... "Concentrate on the living". Your right it makes sense.

"Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy, are you doing okay?
A rose that won't bloom
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying

To get back what was taken away"

Kristy, are you doing okay? - The Offspring