Don't worry. This is who I am.

The nice ** **** pointed out that my last post scared some of you guys. Maybe it did. But don't worry. Because this is who I really am. Not some suicidal.

I am sorry that my ending off paragraph might sound like I am suicidal but I am not lar. haha. As I explained to Jilyn, its my way of saying I am very happy and I that I wish it ends here. Not that I really want to die now, but when its time... I wished it is the way I feel now.

If life was a reel of tape, like those they screen on the silver screen, I wish my film ends now. You may think I dread change. But its not that, that is like the least of my worries.

I cannot tell you what is bothering me. Cause I don't know the answer myself. But I am happy the way things are. The paragraph of the urn is my way of saying... I love you all for making me happy. Just that I don't do it the way I usually do, by thanking you guys directly. I didn't do it the way I prefer. But the way I felt it was suitable for my current lost mood. Yar. Thats it.

And yes. This song is ringing in my head now.

Distance Dreamer - Duffy

Although you think I cope,
my head is filled with hope...
of some place other than here.

Although you think I smile,
inside all the while...
I'm wondering about my destiny.

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life.

I'm a dreamer,
a distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope, from today.

Even when you see me frown,
my heart won't let me down,
because I know there's better things to come (Woah Yeah).

And when life gets tough,
I feel I've had enough,
I hold on to a distant star,

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life...

I'm a dreamer,
A distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope from today.

I'm a dreamer,
A distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope from today.

Yeah, I'm a dreamer

Oooooooh...
Oooooooh...
Oooooooh...

I'm a dreamer,
a distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope from today,

Yeah i'm a dreamer...

Oooooooh...
Oooooooh...
Oooooooh...

I'm a dreamer.