The man without a compass

I think I lost my bearings. Because I don't have my compass anymore.

I also don't know how I lost it. I really don't. But I don't think my brain functions well without it.

Incident 1: I thought the disc drive had Ganner's Siguros CD... and it just wouldn't come out. I held on to the eject button. I restarted my iMac. I rebooted my iMac with open command. It wouldn't come out. But when I found the CD... It was in the CD case.

Incident 2: I wanted to take a breather. You all know where I use to smoke. On the roof. But as I walk pass the door. I didn't realize the door and moved passed it. Until ganners asked me where I was going... damm.

Incident 3: I cannot even recall it. It happen 25 mins ago. Damm

What is happening? I don't know. All I know I kind of lost focus in life. I feel empty. I feel tired. I don't know how to start my cultural paper. Angry and emo songs make me happy. I almost lost my temper in a MSN conversation. I forgot to walk my classmate to the bus stop and let her walk alone. Shuts.

Maybe its because I finished the ISM. Maybe its because the Geo Lab was empty. Maybe its because some of my friends are feeling down as well. Maybe its because I have to keep rejecting my friends when they asked me to hang out. Maybe its because my room is now pink. Maybe is because I feel unappreciated. Maybe its because I played too much and now I am suffering from post-happiness disease.

But I just found my walking stick. So thats good. And I wrote 3 lines for the cultural debate. Good signs after a terrible day. A day where I wasn't at ease alone, where I had to rely on others to laugh. I want to find my way again.

If you ask me where I want to be now...
My answer is my urn.
I am ready to end it all.
I am happy the way things are.
really.